no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
