just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
