Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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