But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
