and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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