Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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