We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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