Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
