You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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