Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She needs sedatives and a leash
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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