I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The uberlube is also flammable
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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