I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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