I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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