i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize