It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize