i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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