This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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