You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
