you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
