forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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