it was like his penis was on wheels.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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