I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
