Don't you send me to vm
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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