bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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