My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it's like iHOP with fire
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
