absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
