you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
