Farmville is her only friend.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
