smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
