That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How naked do you want me to be?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize