I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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