I got chris browned last night
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
