Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
