Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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