i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I currently don't understand fingers.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
