I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
