Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
