everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
