Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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