There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
