I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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