I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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