I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
