Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
