yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
