No awkward lesbian experiences without me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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