it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
