Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
