If that was your dad, he is hot
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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