I wanna bring you to show and tell
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
