Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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