a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
