id be glad to
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
