i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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