the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
