Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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