I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
