I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
