i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
