okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
